lilorphanmaggie: (Angel)
Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best



I am cursed.

There is a dark stain that hangs over me, outside of original sin, outside of the slightly naughty actions of a youth who liked sweets and never got enough of them at home so had to find her fix else where.  Outside of the fact that once, in first grade, I knocked over a girl on purpose on the playground because she made fun of my dress.  A curse even removed from the the taint of my unnatural relationship with my papa; though I don't contend that was a sin, what I did with him I did out of love and want, it was beautiful and a natural progression of our closeness.

I loved my papa very, very much.

I love my papa.  Every night, every moment when my eyes close, I can see him just as clearly as if he were standing in front of me.  When I concentrate I can feel his arms around me, the heat of his breath in my ear and the warmth of his love.  I miss his warmth, I miss his love.  It's so cold now, so bitterly, bitterly frigged.  It's like I can never get warm, as if my blood doesn't circulate through all of me any more, just to the parts to keep me alive, to keep me moving and thinking, planning, scheming.

I wonder if that's the black magic )


I think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
Later's better than never
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive (drive, drive)
lilorphanmaggie: (at da club (LOL))
I haven’t slept since they killed him.

That might be hyperbole come to think of it, but it seems like the truth. Each night, when I lay down I think about that night, every minute, every inch of it till it’s burned into my brain like the grooves in a record.

Maybe he knew. I think he knew. I don’t know how anyone could have gotten to him on his land without knowing, even wizards.

I hate wizards.

Power hungry, self-absorbed, out of touch of reality, assholes. They say that the Red Court tried to wipe out the White Counsel, that they were out to destroy all wizards but the White Counsel was number one on their priority lists.

I think they had the right idea, and I hate the Red Court.

The Red Court was once, one of the most powerful forces on the planet, outside of the White Counsel, anyway. Was, past tense, because they’re gone now, wiped out by a blood line curse unleashed by Harry Dresden, I’ve met him once or twice, nice enough guy but he’s dead on the inside, you can see it in his eyes. You don’t even need a soul gaze to see it.

There have been a few notable instances of White Counsel infiltration, one actually killed one of the members and started using subtle mind magic to control some members actions. At least that’s the rumor, none of this is confirmed. No one wants to admit that the most powerful group of wizards in the known world were under the sway of an outside source. That the ruling class could be damaged, could be gotten to, it seems like it would give others ideas, the impression that they were weak.

Narcissistic, murderers.

I have always enjoyed a challenge )

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lilorphanmaggie: (Default)
Margaret Angelica Mendoza-Rodriguez-Carpenter-Dres

February 2018

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